Pet Fashion: 5 Signs You’ve Gone Too Far

With celebrity pet-owners like Paris Hilton glorifying dog-decorating, luxury brands creating fashion ranges for dogs on the cat-walk and the thousands of fancy-dress cat pictures out there on the net, it seems extreme pet fashion and grooming has become an extension of our taste for fashion consumption. The wildly imaginative, sometimes cute and often questionable world of pet fashion tends to span its decorative wings on either side of the good-taste scale, with products ranging from simple unicorn horns for cats and dog jewellery to full-on onesies for horses (see picture above). George Harrison once said: “All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.” So when do you know you’ve gone too far in the pet fashioning? Here are 5 signs that you have turned your pet into a petcessory:

1)  THIS is your pet’s face

cat

Pets might not be able to communicate with words, but some signs are telling. If, whenever you pop a little dress on your pet, his face resembles that of the cat above, it’s arguably a good sign that he is not entirely enjoying himself as much as you are. More importantly, it’s probably a wise move to stop there if you want to avoid sign No.2

2)      You have unleashed the killer in him

edward

If you have failed to pick up on sign No. 1, you should be ready to face your pet’s wrath. Forget about the cuddly and ever-so-cute companion you have loved and nurtured for years: this is an all-out war! If any of you has ever tried to put an outfit on an unwilling cat, you will know that the likeliest result will be you looking like you have just given a big hug to Edward Scissorhands (Picture above). And that’s if you’re lucky.

3)      You cannot tell what breed is your pet anymore

tigerphant

As much as I admire the definite cutting skill and vivid imagination of this pet’s owner, not knowing if your pet is a dog, cat, unicorn or elephant is probably another good sign that you may have layered the decorations on a little too thick. People may well recognise your artistic talent when you stroll down the street with your “Tigerphant” but remember that your dog is a dog and that the only peer’s recognition he is after is that of his canine friends. Which brings us to sign No. 4…

4)  Your pet is being bullied by other pets

bullying No-one wants to be bullied. Never mind how much they are cared for or how cute/funny you feel they may look with a wig on, pets are very good at sussing out the weak ones and this is arguably what your pet will become if you go too far with the attire. Make sure that the extreme dressing up does not impair on your pet’s happiness and social acceptance. If unsure, just try and imagine yourself walking down the street wearing the above outfit and what people’s reaction would be like. Now imagine those people used teeth and claws to express themselves…yep, you got it.

5)  THIS is what happens every time you say you’re “going to walk the dog out!”

flashdance

We all would love for those shared moments with our beloved companions to be like a scene taken out of Flashdance or The Sound of Music, but let’s be realistic: Life is not a musical and your pet is not a member of the Von trapp Family. Mostly, your pet is simply looking to run around, chase after its own tail and maybe leave a gift or two on the nearby grassy knoll.

So if despite the points above you still think your cat would look better with a wig on, just try and remember that despite how cute it may look, an animal is not a doll.

You may also want to buy a box of plasters.

Or two.

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